just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
