Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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