We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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