the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why can't burritos get me drunk
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
