I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think people are normalizing furries
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
