remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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