this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize