Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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(214): View more from Texas

I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...

(1-214): View more from Texas

Mike i'm at church right now...

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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(847): View more from Illinois

but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin

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(916): View more from California

day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.

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(812): View more from Indiana

After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.

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(253): View more from Washington

I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?

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