A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sponge bath it is.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Still dying that you shit outside
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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