Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
