we're blogging at a bar
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
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You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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