DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
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being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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