i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
