somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
