i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize