I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
