Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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