Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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