Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They took my balls.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
