I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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