I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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