You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
