She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
