Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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