you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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