Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
