dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
