Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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