What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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