They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
