my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wear drunk well.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
