She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
