i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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