Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize