Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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