I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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