took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It was confusing and full of hummus
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
