I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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