I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
