whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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