last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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