So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
