she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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