Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
A bitchslap is in order.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
