its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
