I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
