I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We smell like vodka and hangover
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