I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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