I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
