Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
