please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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