I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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