You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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