dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
