they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
