I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
