Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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