the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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