Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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