I am spending my child support on dildos
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
