Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize