i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
