You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
