if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
