I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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